Stories I Tell Too Often.

MY LEG
Sorry for not posting in like forever but not much has been happening.

Except this. This happened.

Sorry for not posting in like forever but not much has been happening.

Except this. This happened.

Cartman: Hella stupid Hella lame

I would lay money that this is what my SoCal family hears when they talk to me.

  • Newest coworker: Hey watch this
  • Newest coworker: (puts on two nametag lanyards)
  • Newest coworker: (grins really big)
  • Me:
  • Newest coworker: I'M 2 CHAINZ

I’ve been laid up at home all day with a pretty gnarly sprained ankle and I’m genuinely disappointed that there’s no one around at whom I can shout MY LEG

I wanna love you, but I better not touch

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I wanna eat you, but my senses tell me to stop

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I wanna kiss you, but I want it too much

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I wanna taste you, but your proteins are venomous poisssoaeiaieiaoionnnnnn

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gfdlkjgs;fdhjg

How did my trans* cousin turn into an MRA?!

I suppose the “huehuehue I have become my oppressor” thing holds SOME merit…but man, you’re still a gay white dude. They’re not 100% on your side.

There are two kinds of bettas

Today my fish Chad was acting kind of sick. As time wore on, her “sister” Ru came and sat by her, abandoning her bubble nest in process to build a new one right over Chad. Last I looked, Chad was still floating there looking iffy, and Ru swam out from beside her to reassure me.

And in the meantime, Latrice took over Ru’s nest and her favorite hanging spot: right next to the heater.

…actually, that’s more or less how we talk about everybody.